'Successful' use of grindr is directly proportioned to how I'm feeling about myself, I can't seek substantiation from grindr, rather I have to be feeling affirmed enough to use it. The impossibility of actualisation through the gaze of another is something I've self-programmed, taking lonely power from the idea of forever wandering, never partnering off and making a home, and eventually dying alone without a significant other to mar the final revelation between me and god. Lovely.
And so, I'm returning to the uninhibited world of grindr with acceptance of its flaws, I'll even embrace them. I'm too young to question the moral integrity of promiscuity, which underneath my libertine pretensions is exactly what I'm doing, projecting disjointed guilt through a critique of the forum which would justify my hookups outside of grindr as sacred and make every related hookup profane. I'm scapegoating grindr for my own unease in assuming gay stereotypes and postured liberality.
Grindr, far from being a neutral lens is neither riddled with agenda, merely geared to seedier encounters as a rule (with exception) because it was authored from such desires, a desire it's participants share. I've discovered a lag on some 'dates', and the recurring variable is mismatched expectation. Guys expecting more than casual sex with willing strangers had better find another platform, because they're not going to have a good time.
I repeat, exceptions exist, true connection is spontaneous, flaring when and where it will regardless of genre or propriety. But I deduce from grindr's overwhelming 'fuck me' vibe that such occurrences are infrequent and wholly improbable, akin to grindr-miracles.
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