Jaded-Tricks Are For Kids

So I have had to update my store of 'pics' again. I'm pretty satisfied with this new batch, and taking them ended up being the dated equivalent of cyber-sex, in as much as real-time photos followed sexy chat and (allegedly) mutual masturbation. I'm frustrated the other person was so coy about giving over their details and arranging a hookup proper, and yet there's a weird narcissistic satisfaction in someone bringing themselves to climax over your image. After what I'm guessing was his climax, his interest rapidly waned and he logged off without so much as a thankyou. While I'd  handled this more involved chat as prelude to an evening of actual fucking, I'll bet this guy had no intention of hooking up, despite acting like he was a pic-swap away from relinquishing details and designating the hour. Motherfucker. 

Also, chatted with a guy in a bar the other night about how grindr has hurt the gay community. I'd obviously considered how people could frequent gay friendly venues less with the lure of an easy hookup, minus the costly segue of drinks etcetera, but hadn't fully appreciated this fact and how it might emaciate communities in a local sense.

I have niche communities in mind, or groups of people sharing a street or suburb and a watering hole which one might term a 'scene', that word I'd normally use to describe affected cliques derogatorily, but here meaning organic centres in which individuals share a sense of place and belonging. There is (or was) such a thing as conviviality, the gathering of humans around food and/or drink, quite away from bureaucratic intrusions where the individual is proffered in contexts of shared experience, not consumption (ironically). I believe such gatherings to be possible only materially, their Internet counterparts being another species entirely. 

Will the next generation have lost this mode of social reality completely? Even I feel apart from any 'gay' community (which some might say is the result of generally avoiding active affiliation through some kind of internalised homophobia), and I've got this idea I'm part of the last few ages able to remember life before the total facilitation of social media. I remember the technophobia stemming from txt messaging alone when I was in high school, and can't imagine being a teenager with a smart phone. Fucking heinous. 

But anyway, I'm arguing for the spontaneous appearance of communities outside the organisation of online spaces. I know these online spaces can supplement orchestration now, but that's exactly what they should be, supplementary not substitutive. 

Also recently hooked up with a guy completely DL (down low, discreet), or in other words still in the closet, and with grindr's help quite comfortably. It's unequivocal to me that grindr is delaying the moment of coming out for a new generation of young gay guys, depending on their temperament and circumstance of course. Coming out is the most powerful I've felt in my life to date, a moment of pure self-determination rarely afforded people before they've obtained 'adult' resources, and arguably inconceivable to those who've never felt uncomfortable gender-wise. I wouldn't deprive anyone of that awful/awesome upheaval, that blissful rejiggering of ones life to better accommodate desire. Fuck all the above and related grindr use *drops mic*.